Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement.
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

[Chorus:]
Never underestimate my Jesus.
You’re telling me that there’s no hope.
I’m telling you you’re wrong.

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
“Oh, the impossibilities”
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I’m searching for the confidence I’ve lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear

[Chorus]

I think I can’t, I think I can’t
But I think You can, I think You can
I think I can’t, I think I can’t
But I think You can, I think You can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in Your hands, place them in Your hands, place them in Your hands

I caught Andrew Peterson in concert tonight for the first tour of The Resurrection Letters, his current work-in-progress Easter tour.  I’ve lost track of what AP concert this makes, but it’s probably safe to put that into double digits now.  (And I think this is the second time on a “Selection Sunday”… and honestly that’s a no brainer choice to make.)

This show brought a full band along, including usual sidekick Ben Shive and adding Gabe Scott (AP’s previous usual sidekick), Mandy & Kevin Mann (filling in for Andy & Jill), Jeff Irwin (a.k.a. the M&M guy) and Paul Eckberg.

Great show as always and my two older kids decided that they needed to be part of the show.  But hey, AP and the audience seemed to get a kick out of it…and that’s to be expected when you ask the kids to come down front (at least with my kids…consider yourself warned).

I’ve said it over and over in the past and I will continue to do so as long as there is breath left in my lungs…if Andrew Peterson comes anywhere close to you, GO!  And buy every album of his that you can get your hands on!

While I know that I have already accomplished a lot, there is just something “there” that drives me further each day in the pursuit of whatever the bigger picture may be for my life. It’s a little hard to put that “fire” into words, but for anyone who has been following Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy’s football career, it’s sort of like that. (This is what I do…for now. If I can’t continue to do it well, I’d rather step aside and let someone else have a shot. This isn’t what I want to do forever, but as long as it is where God wants me to be, I’ll continue. And at the end of the day the two most important things to me are my God and my family.)

Now that I’ve set a somber tone for the day, throw open the curtains, bask in the sunlight, then at some point head outside into the brisk January air, close your eyes, arms wide open, head towards the sky, take a deep breath and just thank God for the opportunity to live and breath yet another day. You never know how many more you might have, so treat each day as it is your last and as the gift that it is.

by Rich Mullins

And as I lay me down one evening,
I thought of Jesus on the hill
And how for men He was weeping,
When it was Him they were going to kill
And I know He would have saved them
Had they only just allowed
None are stronger than the humble
And few are weaker than the proud

And then my thoughts, they turned to David,
And how he watched his father’s flocks
How the music that he was playing
Could calm the demons in a mighty man’s heart
And when the prophet came round looking for a king,
He sought young David out,
‘Cause none are stronger than the humble
And few are weaker than the proud

And I know that you know about Moses,
And how he left the Pharaoh’s courts
When he saw the injustice
Done to the people, the people of the Lord
And though his fears drove him to hiding,
The Lord his heart with courage soon endowed
‘Cause none are stronger than the humble
And few are weaker than the proud

And none are stronger than the humble
And few are weaker than the proud

The Fall weather always puts me into “Rich” mode for some reason.  And I cannot believe that it has already been 10 years since his death.  It seems like only yesterday that I saw him in concert for the last time.  But the time has indeed passed which is quite evident by my house full of children running around and the big three-oh lurking just around the corner.

I’m sure that a certain thought is running through people’s heads right now, so I’ll address the whole unemployment/self-employment situation first…

Getting “RIFed” (”Reduction in Force”, a.k.a. “Layoffs”) was a blessing and what I was praying for AND what I instinctively knew was coming. In relation to my former employer, it is becoming more apparent as I stay in touch with my former peers that if it hadn’t been last year, it would almost certainly have been this year. But I feel the timing was just right in my case.

By now everyone has heard me mention that the job market, especially in my specialty, in Indiana is horrible at best. And in order to land a decent “day job” it may come down to knowing someone who knows someone. But I’m at ease with that as I know that I’m not the one in control. Bottom line, I’ll do what I have to do to support my family. Times may get tough and sacrifices may have to be made, but we’ll make it through God willing.

With that said, my heart is sold on pursuing Watershed Studio as long as God keeps the green light on. While I had the idea in my head years ago, it had to die for some time as I became more knowledgeable in the field. Once it was resurrected close to two years ago with a slower and steadier course charted, things really began to fall into place. And during the past six months (once the layoff kicked in) the pace began to pick up and God has truly been blessing me with business opportunities from all over the world.

Also, I must mention that the unemployment checks have been a tremendous help, as you are allowed to make money being self-employed AND are still considered unemployed in weeks that you don’t have any revenue since you don’t have a formal full-time employer. That surprised me a bit since that does actually make sense in regards to allowing people to be productive and not penalizing them for it.

So in a nutshell, that is the whole “job” situation. Once my unemployment balance is drained in about a month or so, we’ll definitely be stepping out in faith that God will continue to provide what is needed. While that part of being self-employed is a little nerve wracking at times, it is a great reminder that we are not in control and that there will be peaks and valleys in life.

Beyond all of the job specific stuff (which truly is the main event of 2006), it has been amazing to be able to be at home with my children during the day. Ole’ dad can be a little boring at times, especially when he’s trying to answer work related e-mails and phone calls (as you can imagine it is a little hard to work while watching toddlers…so many late nights are spent actually working on the programming projects that I have going on), but I hope the kids enjoy the time spent together as well (and I think that they do). If I had to make a resolution this year (I hate resolutions since they’re really something you should be doing anyway) it would be to do more fun stuff with my children during the day. While I’m loving the fact that my snow shovel has sat in the garage all year, I’m really looking forward to a good snow storm to take the kids out in and then to come back inside and throw on some sweat pants and warm back up.

Other than that, the other item that might be of interest would be in the church realm. Our “house church” gets together quite frequently for various activities (and more than just on Sunday). The community aspect is great and it’s been nice being able to help others out in major ways (by our standards anyway). I would say that we still have plenty of room to grow as a group and as individuals (I’m no exception), but we’re slowly moving along and are seeking after God. My prayer is that 2007 will usher us father down the path in pursuit of Him.

Version one was good, but is a bit outdated (small scale print ‘zine). Version two was lame and had an awful “sophomore slump” (we won’t even go there). And version three will pull things together and into the blog and podcasting realms. At the moment we’re seeking submissions and will start cranking out new (and recycled) content over the next few weeks.

It’s good to be back!