The Musings of Brian Groce

Last year I said that I’d probably cut back on my “endless shrimp” consumption at Red Lobster this year. Well, I was wrong…

We headed down to Red Lobster a few weeks ago for the fourth year in a row and I kicked my personal “best” up to 82 shrimp this year. I could have eaten more but everyone else was bored of watching me eat, so I stopped while I still felt good (and before I got left at the restaurant).

For those of you wondering what the “trick” is to eating that many shrimp (and a salad and biscuits) AND to not feel miserable afterwards, it’s really quite simple. Here’s what I did this year…

1. Ate some Slyders the night before. I think that those bad boys are the key to an iron stomach…if you can handle 7 or 8 of those puppies , you can handle anything. (Side note: while they are small, that’s really twice as many as I’d suggest eating at one time.)
2. Started the day off with a small “meal”…just some bread.
3. Had a sandwich for lunch.
4. Didn’t drink a whole lot at dinner.
5. Ate mostly Shrimp Scampi. You don’t have the breading that comes with fried shrimp and the garlic butter helps.

So there you have it. And I can’t take all of the credit as I’ve watched too many “competitive eating” events this year and have gained tips here and there (thanks to ESPN for thinking that eating is really a sport).

And a word of personal advice. If you start to feel uncomfortable, you’ve already had too much and should really stop eating. It’s really not worth it to needlessly feel sick to your stomach and you won’t enjoy shrimp much for a while after that. Just trust me on this one and don’t do it.

So what will next year hold? I’m making no predictions since I’m obviously not too good at that. But you can be sure that my goal won’t be a number, but rather not feeling bad afterward and truly enjoying my feast of shrimp.